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Dear Johnathan Kerr,
I have read your essay. I too am very interested in the topic of time. It is good that more and more people seem to be taking "the time problem" seriously, taking apart the issues and thinking about it. It is clearly written and comprehensible and relevant to the essay question. So it ticks all those boxes.
I would have enjoyed your essay much more if it was not a topic very close to my heart. After years of concentrating on finding the solution and talking about it extensively and painstakingly here on FQXi blog discussion threads.Countless hours of comments and explanations.(If you are interested a high definition file of the necessary explanatory framework is in my essay discussion thread, what it does is listed in my current essay.)
There are many more people who have not given the topic as much thought, time and dedication as I have, who do not understand the solution, and so will find your essay very thought provoking. Which is a very good thing. A solution can't be readily accepted until the need for it is grasped.
Good luck in the competition.