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Paul ,
I understand that Einstein did not think he was dealing with "mere" appearances. He knew his relativity was not a complete theory and I am sure he would be happy to have it retained but thought about slightly differently so that it is compatible rather than contradictory to quantum mechanics. It can be retained and can work with quantum mechanics if general and special relativity relate only to the appearance, i.e. the observed images formed from EM data not the objects with atomic structure.
Re. Your final paragraph: Sensory data has to be processed to make any sense to us at all. Receipt of data with no output is no better than no data. If my eyes were disconnected from my brain, the data would still be received but as it can not be processed by my brain, I will not be able to see. Light that has been focussed by a lens might be capable of producing an image on a screen placed in its path but without the screen there is no see-able image. Its output that gives us knowledge. We can not access Object reality (your existent reality) including the EM Data Pool (your existent representations) without a -Reality Interface- that converts what is there into a form that our sensory system can receive and interpret. Which allows us to do such things as practical physics experiments -involving observations-; and much more besides: )