Paul,
You really are making a genuine and sincere effort to understand my point of view and for that I commend you. Yet the reason you don't fully understand or accept it is part of what I'm trying to explain. Since it doesn't relate to the frame you are working from, it is as though I'm simply speaking another language, or a branch of math you haven't studied.
Consider the concepts of objective versus subjective. Now me sitting here typing, while the coffee is brewing, is my personal subjective experience. While the equation E=mc2 is a largely objective observation. Yet while my situation is specific to my reality, it is very detailed, but the formulation of relativity is very general. It is like a very focused picture of a particular scene, versus a white sheet of paper. Consider this in terms of a camera taking a picture. If you want that detailed picture, you have to specify shutter speed, aperture, focus, lighting, distance, direction, angle, lenses, etc. Otherwise it isn't what you want. For instance, simply leaving the shutter open too long and too much light gets in and you have a white sheet of paper!!! That is because you have too much energy and to much information being carried by that energy onto the surface of your film. So that is the reality of the objective perspective. All that information balances out and so cancels all the detail, while the subjective perspective is fundamentally dependent on the particular frame required.
So now consider this in terms of how a movie is shown, with the projector light shining through the film. You might say my conception of that essential sense of awareness is like the light shining through the film, while you and I and all living creatures are basically images on that film. Now obviously this would be a far more involved and interactive process, with that light/consciousness pushing and motivating all the different life forms according to all the subjective particulars of their different existences. Sometimes these life forms are bumping into each other like they are just material objects in the world and sometimes that life force is flowing through them together, like they are all one being.
A large part of the reason we have trouble sensing this level of reality is that as complex thinking, essentially predatory creatures, is that we associate thought and awareness with concentration and focus. While this process is very effective at distilling preferred signals from the noise and such useful points of observation and value out of all that goes on around us, it also destroys much of the subtle connectivity which is the life force tying everything together. You might say that while the spotlight of our concentration is very good for illuminating what we are looking at, it consequently obscures all the contextual connections which really make sense of it.
Now consider the idea of oneness, versus one, or unity versus unit. When things are connected, they are unified, but when one object is distinct from all its surroundings then it is a unit. The first is a network, while the second is a node. The problem is that we often mistake the two. For instance, the idea of God handed down to us, is that it is a unit. One entity distinct from everything else. So we put it up in heaven, or on a pedestal. Yet when those ancients were first considering the idea, given they were far more organically imbedded in nature, it seems likely the original concept was that everything is connected. That all those various deities and spirits and natural forces and the order seemingly running through it all, were connected in one bigger reality. A network.
Now what happens when you take that sense of connectivity and filter it through several thousand years of human experience, needs, desires, interpretations, etc. Than that it becomes this singular father figure watching over us would be a logical result.
The problem is that different people go through different situations and so emphasize different aspects and interpretations of what they perceive. For instance, the early Jews needed a sense of collective unity to survive and keep together through all the hardships they were enduring, so what had been in the earlier Egyptian conception of wholeness and unity, of the sun shining down, not just as a object in the sky, but a source of light and heat, raising up life, became focused as much more of a tribal deity, watching over this particular band of people and guiding them. By the time Jesus came along, this had hardened into a bureaucratic structure, with little concern for the basic cares and feelings for individuals. So by proposing a rebirth, he was making a very naturalistic argument, since the old pantheistic religions had traditions of year Gods, that died and were reborn. The problem was this didn't exactly fit with the idea of one God and yet some form of cycling had to be included in an understanding of nature. Since Jesus was no more and his movement was persecuted, the promise then became to look tot he future, which for many downtrodden people, is a powerful message and so the image of the Holy Ghost arose as that light shining through and giving hope for a better, stronger, healthier future. So you have the cyclical God encased in a singular entity.
Islam actually proposes a far more defined and universal monotheism and since it was phenomenally politically and socially successful for seven hundred years and largely coasted on that success for the next six hundred years, it is only in the last hundred years in which the down side of such a monolithic belief system came home to roost, as it tries to compete with the technologically advanced and socially flexible west.
So it is not as though those people three thousand years ago were not having brilliant insights, motivated by their self awareness and wonder of the universe opening before them, but what today you have of that perception is a very edited account that bears faint resemblance to the reality in which they lived and much to do with the needs of the many generations which managed to add additional insights, political desires, social needs, etc. to that collection of writings. Now I can understand why you view this source as a guidepost in life, as certainly many people do, but do you think that had you been raised in an Islamic culture, Jewish, or Hindu, or Buddhist, that you would have still gravitated to the Christian explanation of the universe? Now I expect you to consciously believe that you would, but that would mean you would have to ignore all those profound social and cultural ties to whatever society you were a member of and it is those which give a religion its real strength, not just the particular stories it tells and morals it tries to convey. That light shining through the people and life around you, is more important to your health and wellbeing than any words in any book.
So it is not that this spiritual essence is incomprehensible, but that it is profoundly elemental and not that it does not care for us, as we are its expression. It is just not an ideal, which are simply preferential qualities from our point of view. It is like light without any filters, yet we are a filter.
Regards,
John