Dear Inés --
You make a number of points. Here are some thoughts:
Ultimately, in a system of particles interacting with each other, some part of the system always has the memory of what happened before, either to that same part of the system, or to some other part of the system, just because of the reversibility of the laws of physics.
That's a nice point, and shows the ambiguity of the word "memory"; it's related to the problem of deriving the second law of thermodynamics. For a reversible system, I can reconstruct the initial conditions from the final (or, indeed, a large number of hypersurfaces including time-like, as well as space-like, ones). So there's a sense that nothing is forgotten or lost.
But that's not the kind of memory that can be causally relevant. While it's true that what happens at t=10 "remembers" what happens at t=0, it's also the case that t=10-epsilon is enough to define what happens at t=10. Conditioning on local conditions, the system "forgets" the past. It's a regular grammar (in the language of computer science).
What you need to get interesting things going is memory that spreads out: where what happens now is not entirely dictated by what happened an epsilon moment just before.
It's interesting that my responses are often phrased in terms of causation (really, conditional independence here). It may be interesting to consider this in the context of the causal arguments that Larissa Albantakis makes in her essay, or that are coming up in discussions of phenomenal experience.
I understand that memory allows for self-reference to emerge. It is not clear to me, however, that the memory must necessarily belong to the same system that makes the self-reference.
I agree. Social feedback doesn't require memory in the subject herself. I don't have to remember how I behave in order for my own behavior to affect me (indeed, that's the role of a teacher, mentor, coach--to bring things to the subject's awareness that already matter to her). In many cases, the larger society can be more "aware" of us, in the sense of sensitivity and memory to our behavior, than we ourselves.
Characterization of systems with self-reference may also be impossible. How should I connect this to the more specific problem of emergence of intentionality?
I would say that life is a naturally "intentional" process; in a separate sense, so is a society, or a cultural practice. I can certainly enumerate for different systems; famously, and as Dan Dennett pointed out to us, we can get intentionality, or the illusion of it, from evolution. But not all intentional systems are evolutionary in nature. (It's certainly the case that all of them are rooted in life, and life had an evolutionary origin, but this doesn't explain the intentional nature of derivative systems.)
Once we recognize the diversity of intentional behavior, we want to ask what's necessary for these systems to get rolling--and my claim is that memory and (further) self-reference is what we need. We don't get the intentional cultural artifact without new forms of information processing and (I'd argue) the transition requires the construction of new methods of memory and self-reflection.
Yours,
Simon