Jim,
Not knowing what isn't done is a re-application of predicting consequences. In the profession of "Project Management" and "Program Management" (supervisory) these advanced skills are called "Requirements Management" and "Risk Management". The following is just a rough overview off the top of my head.
When a program manager first is introduced to forming a project, a representative group of experts get together with the customer and their team to define a "Project Charter". This defines the central intents of what is to be accomplished and design decisions map back to this Project Charter throughout the project until deliverables are finished and delivered. Otherwise wasted time is spent wavering in determining what the customer "might" want, or can do without. The Project Charter becomes customer approved.
From the Project Charter the List of Requirements is built by a team of experts. These are all things that become implicitly stated from the Project Charter. For example: SAE Standards related to the build, Federal Government Guidelines, IEEE Standards ... Phases of development and related milestones, payment schedules, required reporting, detail depth of documentation, customer specific requirements ... list of deliverables.
Asset Management from the status of the previous and present projects in development are referred to help determine a timeline for development. Typically a Gantt Chart and/or Project Management Software is implemented.
Requirements Management and Risk Management worksheets are implemented to capture details of requirements and their costs and risks and their potential costs and related delays. Asset Management is referred to for estimating availability of resources.
So far, all of this has occurred without getting paid by the customer so previous profits from other projects must pay for these efforts. Cost estimating is done based upon past experience. This is where experience plays between profit, losing the bid, and law-suits/bankruptcy. The Program Manager is only partly responsible for cost estimating. Built into the cost is labor for covering some number of other project estimates where the customer will choose another company to do the work.
The Customer pays for Phase I and no further payment will be received until the first milestone and related deliverables are conveyed to the customer.
Next the Program Manager assembles a team of Project Managers. The team assembles a Statement of Work (SOW). The SOW details every step and every Work Order down to the largest reasonable effort that one person can reasonably accomplish with their known skill set and experience. The Team updates the Requirements Management and Risk Management worksheets as they discover new potential issues.
Then the team of Project Managers under the direction of the Program Manager schedule the expertise and material and begin development.
The coordination of Requirements Management, Timeline, and Risk Management are tightly monitored throughout the development to ensure what isn't yet done is completed on-schedule.
What you asked is an advanced skill of Common Sense where self-esteem in that environment in-part comes from practiced application and developing experience.
We all, including myself, can always improve our Common Sense skills related to the Social Group in which we are involved. Common Sense is Group-centric. For example, Common Sense between a Program Manager and a team of General Electric national defense contractors is very specific.
The Common Sense component of Self-esteem in that environment is based in a developed set of thumb-rules to deal with the emotional condition of team members, developed social etiquette that does not fully transfer to other companies, and systems of communication processes that are expected. These components can be documented so that a new Program Manager can come up to speed quickly in dealing with the specific National Defense Contractor to ensure that risks in obtaining the bid are minimized.
This is one application for having a certification program to help ensure selected Program Managers can quickly develop the "practiced" skills to engage in these high level negotiations.
However, for smaller projects just keep the equivalent of a grocery list. :.)