Science need not slow down as a field; but some of its top participants shouldn't be buttonholed into producing top-rate product without an ability to negotiate. I am an enfant terrible because I am an autodidact when it comes to physics! Yet what puts me in an altogether tenuous position, the brink from which I may not be able to come back one day, is my schizoaffective diagnosis. (It's basically bipolar with occasional delusions. One man's delusion is another man's conspiracy oftentimes.)
With the war on, police and military squadrons take their summer cars out on LOUD, long, stalking excursions around my neighborhood and block in order to intimidate me to produce massive stochastic coding, which is a type of key-smash coding and automatic writing I came up with in 2021, before the war, when it was crime and rockets they were interested in. Anyhoo, now the police furtively pay and the military furtively funds these networks that harass me night and day to produce more predictive code (if you're interested in why it's predictive it's because I have a highly unusual blind guess rate of 66% and I use Bernoulli and Levy flighted walks).
Here's a little poem I wrote describing my torture these past two years after my Mom died:
"What a country for the alpha male!"
I slept two hours last night
They were two rocky hours
On Ambien and four hydroxyzine
The ambient sounds outside
Were foreskin proud, so it sounds
Have been amplifying the decibels
Maximally since 2021
My Mom, Dad and I
Went to Andy’s Ice cream
After the mayoral election that April Tuesday, 2021
And saw what would be my first impression
Of car culture
There were strings of cars, slinking their cranks
Teenagers and young adults hollering
And half out of their cars
We three looked at each other
To see what caused the alarm
Only to realize when we got home
There was a mayor’s election
I guess Mayor-elect Terry Vorderer was no fan of protection
Neither seat belt nor mask
And certainly the speed limit was negotiable for T
That was the start of the troubles for me
My most recent bout
The first troubles proper in my life
Was in fifth grade
I’d had it easy until then
Life had been good to me that far
Third grade I had a hiccup
When I had to go to the bathroom
And Mrs. Perkovitch wouldn’t allow it
So I cried, exiting the classroom
And almost peed my pants
On the way to the urinal
Fifth grade Dad lost his job
He told me back then how interviews worked
But I imagined some big mean boss lady
Like Perkovitch was
Correcting him on his cursive
Urging him to stand up straighter
And en-un-ciate
Dad is mellow, sometimes serenely so
Sometimes melancholy
I worried she was going to eat him up for breakfast
Then in fifth grade Dad tried to break up a fight
At the baseball diamond
Tom Hinkes was rip-roaring to go
Dad pinned back his arms so Tom couldn’t hurt anyone
But he was taller than my Dad and so struggle ensued
By the time Frank Czernek tried to kill me
In fifth grade
All the parents knew you couldn’t even restrain a child
So I got chased around the ball park
And hung up in the bathroom as he showed me his compass
I wasn’t bullied again until a bit in seventh grade
Until Columbine scared my bullies, Joe and Jason
And they relented
Now I am bullied again from ages 35 to 37
Newly discovered auditory hallucinations guess what kind of squelching squeal
Or whirring clank, or mawing groan
The stentorian ignorance mobiles that drive around my block will emit
Jim across the street started it off when I was 33
Knew I was sensitive to sound
And blew off M80’s to whip me in war-fightin’ shape
I regret everything I’ve done from July 4, 2019
To this very moment
Except to spend time with Mom and Dad
And Mom died in 2021 and the bullying was bad then too, electronic
Told the Feds and nothing was done
Only got worse after she passed
And Dad has checked out, so shell-shocked we are from the daily skull-splitting sounds of:
FOP, Masonic, Illinois Troopers, Cook County Sheriffs, VFW, American Legion, military veterans and other of their family and supporters
Just to get me to write my predictive code, no pay, all abuse
What a country for the alpha male
