Dear Marc,
Thank you for taking the time to read my essay and for your kind words!
I'm not sure I can say I have an optimistic attitude or hold hope. Should there be a theory of everything, I realize it's not even granted that we will ever find it. Unlike winning the lottery (where someone has to win at some point), a TOE is not a guaranteed miracle. It's more that I am somewhat pointing to the possibilities of living in an open universe, with an infinite future, vastly larger than its past. Trapped in finite lives, it's easy for us to forget that others will follow us and that it's nearly impossible to predict the future of mankind (although it looks bleak at this point with ecological problems and whatnot).
I don't think there is a way to show that a proton must exist, unless one takes quite a zen approach, eg. protons happened when time started, so in a sense they always existed and therefore must exist. This obviously doesn't produce a lot of helpful insight. But there is a way to create an infinite number of universes just like this one by keeping the ratios constant, as you said, the 1860 proton to electron mass. Thus the masses of the particles would be equivalent between universes, modulo something, along with all the other constants; all these universes would look the same. Take that something from modulo and replace it with all the real numbers, one at a time; suddenly the chance for our universe to be looks strangely different (the chance for this universe to be among an infinite number of universes made by varying the cosmological constant is 0; 0*aleph1, the cardinality of the set of reals, what's that? Should we multiply zero with the cardinality or with the value of the cardinality, and if we multiply with the value what do we get?). To make a toy model just for fun to explain this bizarre ratio, I'll choose the idea behind technicolor theory, where fundamental particles are made from a single type of constituent that's held together in bunches by a superstrong force; it's the only example I can find right now and I find it intuitive. Say this even more fundamental constituent is duplicated and configured inside each particle, so for an electron we have 10 pcs of it and for a proton we have 30 pcs, 10 for each quark. Then we take these configurations and plug them in some perturbation theory, the first few loops raising the difference in mass up to a factor of one thousand and then the next loops converging to some masses that share that ratio. Of course I'm not saying that there even is such a theory; I'm saying that we can't rule out the possibility that it exists or the possibility that we could one day find it. Even if the values that we have look weird.
About the hidden logical rules. Our universe, the one that insists to make sense is also the one that influences our thinking. If we were to live in a level V universe, out math may have looked different; it would have been the math of the infinitely intelligent mathematician. He can understand ours, but we can't understand his (or maybe we can with proper training, but we're not inclined to use it from our own initiative). Our universe does have regularities and we were all born here, so our thinking seeks patterns. If we were to live in a universe with time swirls, we'd even have problems defining the number 4 in the way we do here. Natural numbers were born from the need to count so say that a prehistoric being is trying to count food urns, 4 of them, but when he finishes counting, a time swirl takes the 4th urn. Not just that only 3 urns remain, but only 3 urns were ever there because of the problem of the local direction of time. But the time swirl that took the urn left its memory unaffected so the notion of 4 will from now on be associated with 3 objects, in a superposition where you mean 4 and see 3. Of course this may not be a very good example but there's only so much one can do to make a definition have a meaning and the opposite. Depending on how that universe is constrained, it's maybe even possible to live in it (to keep it simple, say it has all our constants, but some small scale thermodynamic oddities), but the way that the inhabitants interpret the world should be different from ours. Perhaps they have a real-world number system that helps them count these awful disappearing objects and a second ideal number system that works like ours and is used only in philosophy classrooms, having no application to their world. A universe where the time direction is locally not constant would certainly generate minds that would seem odd to us. Our universe came with built-in math with conservation laws; why? Well that's a hidden rule, for now.
I enjoyed your questions, by the way. Wish you all the best!
Warm regards,
Alma