Steve,
You use the word "vanity" in ways I had never thought possible: vanitious!!
In my view, an expanding graviton has a volume,
[math]vol = \frac{4}{3}\pi (ct)^3[/math]
The volume is filled with quantum states for position and momentum.
The surface of the expanding sphere has an area,
[math]Area = 4pi (ct)^2[/math]
which is the virtual photon. The Casimir effect, proven to exist, is caused by virtual photons.
If there was any energy available to be transferred by virtual photons, it would excite a virtual photon, and have an energy,
[math]E = h\nu[/math]
Gravitons fill the universe with position, momentum quantum states, which we observe as spacetime geometry. There is probably some maximum amount of overlap of gravitons that has something to do with the Cosmological constant.
When gravitons collide with particles, they can be adsorbed into the particle system and become part of the wave amplitude/wave function.