Interesting account of the relationship between what's 'really' going on and what can reliably be inferred about what's going on in the context of gravitational lensing. The fact that the mass distribution of the lens is severely underdetermined reminds me of similar problems in biophysics/systems biology; there, one might be trying to infer a gene regulatory network whose behavior and parameters are severely underconstrained by experiment.
Your central insight, (which I understood to be) that you can only reliably infer the parts of the mass distribution that you have enough data for, seems like the right takeaway. At the end of the day, if you don't have the data to support your claims, there's no way to know whether you're right or wrong. Though it seems like common sense, it's a point that's easy to forget about when working on tough scientific problems. I see people making strong claims based on bad data all the time.
By the way, do you think this situation will ever improve? Do we just have to wait for new telescopes/observations/sources of data to constrain these lens models? Or will even those not be enough to reliably understand galaxy-scale mass distributions, without some additional (possibly hard to verify) assumptions?